(1with nothing better to do | life is but a dream) HAHAHA [11 Sep 2004|04:25am] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | Nokia cell phone tone. its stuck in my head : | ] i was just reading my last two LJ entrys and i am soo fucking bipolar. its sad. and im really hyper right now for it being like 4:20 (YES) in the morning. oh well. im going to catch you up, journal. my wittle wover. THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED: im back with my ex now current bf. i still love him as much as i always have. we still argue about the stupidest things but always seem to makeup right after. we're so young and stupid. im currently living (visiting) him right now.. so im in puerto rico. the weather sucks sooo much fucking ass. i hate it. but its so beautiful here. the people are ooo-kay. all of the girls that are here and exactly the same. same clothes -different colors. same hair-different highlights. its rather sad. the food here is awesome. MALTA. thats all i have to say. since ive been here ive worked my very first time working. well... working for pay anyways. its rather shitty. but its worth it. im a needy person and needy people need money. hmm thats kind of strange to think about. im reading a new book. i just got it today and ive been told to read it by this girl i know. its called 1984. ive only gotten to page 5 but its really interesting. i plan on reading some more tonight before i sleep. my sister is doing sooooo well. well, from what i hear anyways. i think shes finally staying away from drugs. and i dont mean pot and alcohol. shes working now and has been at the same job for like a month now. its really awesome. PEOPLE I LOVE: juan autumn vanessa dottie alyssa buxton doorag davie bowie jessika thats it for now. and its kinda random. but i felt like typing it down. <3 me

(life is but a dream) uh yeah [11 Sep 2004|04:10am] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | AFI: the despare factor ] i lied. ive been too busy to write things on this stupid site. no one reads anything that i write anyways. so fuck it. ill write when i have something special to say. which i dont now. other than everyone on my friends list sucks. cos you people never read anything or talk to me anymore!! you fucking sons of bitches! FUCK ASS SHIT HOLE HEADS! *puh*

(life is but a dream) yeah.. [16 Aug 2004|12:47am] [ mood | cold ] [ music | some techno shit ] its been a long time, friend. well. things have changed ALOT. no. i dont want to talk about it. nevermind. ive missed you little journal. and ill be seeing you more often *smiles* i promise.

(life is but a dream) oh yeah, look what i can make! you can do it tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! [11 Apr 2004|04:16pm] its me! well, kind of, meh! you know what i mean!

(life is but a dream) im leaving [11 Apr 2004|03:46pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | Leftover Crack-Bullets And Bombs ] well, its time. im going to FL to see my.. uhm, special friend? it should be pretty cool im really stressed out its too much to explain .............. right now im just taking a break from packing ill miss you all or just you duckey =^..^= yeap, thats it. good bye cruel world.. ..goodbye

(life is but a dream) OH, POEMS! [03 Apr 2004|02:22pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Dresden Dolls-Girl Of Anachronism ] Mask To Show The World all this makeup ill wear. hoping it will hide my flaws. but mine are hidden on the inside. skin deep scars are harder to cover up. make my mind up. tell me to stop wearing this mask. i can no face the outside would as myself! god make me beautifl! i dont want to be stuck like this..so pittiful Hopeless my body smells of sweat and blood. the out coming of my enternal hate and anger. i keep wondering how long this pain will linger. i can no longer stab it away. im too embarressed of the marks it renders Unchangable cut out my bad parts! give me a new heart. mine no longer feels. i want to be perfect for you. i just want to be loved and to love. but my bad parts get in the way. i feel i cant change this. cut them out! i promise not to shout. just make me better. better for you. tell me what to do.. you know id do anything for you. just show me and ill follow. cleanse me of my sorrow. i know they suck, but i wrote them a long ass time ago..im just sharing XOXO

(3with nothing better to do | life is but a dream) yes for me! [03 Apr 2004|02:16pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | Dresden Dolls-Miss Me ] this is it. ive done it. i "gotten rid of the 500pound man on my clit". hes gone. and i feel soooooooo much better. i feel like ive been given life! such a beautiful life. a life with freedom to do whatever i desire. it feels good. no one needs a boyfriend of girlfriend..dont believe the tv shows or movies that make you believe so. its all a lie. A HUGE LIE a lie that i no longer have to deal with. im done and so much more happy i love everyone...except that one. LOSER muahahhahah it feels good to be happy again *sighs*

(life is but a dream) THE NUGGA SONG BY DUCKEY AND TURKEY [07 Mar 2004|04:52pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | The Nugga Song ] The Nugga Song: Nuggas in the front Nuggas in the back Nuggas on weed And Nuggas on Crack Nuggas to the left Nuggas to the right Nuggas wanna fuck Nuggas wanna fight Nuggas think their cool Nuggas think their tight No matter how hard they ball All nuggas steal bikes! Nuggas in my kitchen Nuggas under the bed Nuggas in my bathroom Nuggas in my head Nuggas wanna ride And Nuggas wanna roll Nuggas eat pussy And Nuggas smoke poles No matter what your a Nugga No matter what your a joke No matter what hes a Nugga Ememy of the Pope. YA HERD! FIN

(6with nothing better to do | life is but a dream) woowe [16 Feb 2004|03:26pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | choking victim-infested ] he still loves me! we'll just call him he. cos thats all most men are. just hes'. he was my valentine. he got me a cd, and dvd, flowers, and candy for x v-day...how sweet huh! but he doesnt want me..its so confuzzeling. im stuck. but i want him sooo bad. good thing he doesnt have a computer. heh. im bored. and fat. someone poke me!! ugh.

(life is but a dream) oh drunkenness [15 Feb 2004|04:24pm] [ mood | tired ] last night was the worst. being drunk. making out with girls. and a few boys. i feel like a makeout slut. i need some sleepy time. xox

(4with nothing better to do | life is but a dream) im so happy!! [30 Jan 2004|11:33pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Birthday Massacure ] so happy! well, im high. but that doesnt really matter cos im happy! and marijuana girl thinks its pretty awesome too. so listen to her! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(life is but a dream) x-ray spex [20 Jan 2004|08:42pm] [ mood | cynical ] i am addicted to this song. its driving me crazy! take it! take it! BWAH! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1977 and we are going mad It's 1977 and we've seen too many ads 1977 and we're gonna show them all That apathy's a drag My mind is like a plastic bag That corresponds to all those ads It sucks up all the rubbish That is fed in through by ear I eat Kleenex for breakfast And use soft hygienic Weetabix To dry my tears My mind is like a switchboard With crossed and tangled lines Contented with confusion That is plugged into my head I don't know what's going on It's the operator's job, not mine I said My dreams I daren't remember Or tell you what I've seen I've dreamt that I was Hitler The ruler of the sea The ruler of the universe The ruler of the supermarket And even fatalistic me ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(3with nothing better to do | life is but a dream) im confused [14 Jan 2004|06:51pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | Poison The Well-Meeting Again(for the first time) ] im sad im loney something is wrong with me im in love with "him" he hates me i never did anything wrong!!! im hopeless everyday i wait for his call but he never does.. i need a new life but i want one with him i swear i was always so good to him:( just not good enough for him im sick of crying for him i need someone else. someone less stupid but i dont want anyone else the only thing i ever wanted is gone now im sad im loney im never going to get over this.. if i was, i would have already i feel so depressed and typical..like everyother little teenage heartbreak we were eachothers first love!! that means so much *cries sad tear* im pathetic im sad im lonely ill never change this feeling i have inside

(1with nothing better to do | life is but a dream) today was wonderful! [12 Jan 2004|06:34pm] [ mood | nerdy ] [ music | David Bowie-RocknRoll Suicide ] i dont know what was different but today i felt so great. i got no sleep and started school today. i didnt even really talk to anyone. i just felt really good! i could be manic but even if i am or was-i should be glad that i was. anyways. im just writing to vent out my happieness. even my kitten was happy! there was happieness all over the place. i think it stared with my listening to david bowie. even his most depresive songs make me happy..i love that man i owe it all to you mr bowie!

(life is but a dream) im sleep deprived [11 Jan 2004|09:50pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Hole-Credit in the Straight World ] i cant sleep. i lay there just thinking about everything but then i never really come up with any personal questions that i need to answer for myself. i was in love. and now hated by that one person. im lost. but then i know who i am. im stress. i stress myself out. i think im crazy. but then this is how i was made. im supposed to be like this and think like this. i wish i had a real friend. im still in love. why cant i get over him. he was my first love. we lasted a year. george bush looks like a monkey and has a weird shaped head. UGH. all these mixed thoughts are driving me crazy. i am crazy and have the papers that make it official. ohh i wish i had a life. someone save me:(. im sad. i make myself sad. this is how i am supposed to be. confused, stress, sad, angry, and hated.

(1with nothing better to do | life is but a dream) getting used to it [11 Jan 2004|02:03pm] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | Leftover Crack-Suicide(a better way) ] a few days ago i got home from the hospital. cutting gets you there. ive been their twice in the last 18 days. its horrible. i hate doctors. but then i dont like being at home very much. before i was in the hospital the first time, i was in FL for a month. i keep leaving home and this time i have no where to go. maybe ill find a crusty and fall in love with him..maybe go train hopping for a few months. but thats only hopeful wishing...

(1with nothing better to do | life is but a dream) [11 Jan 2004|12:38pm] Dianna, 17, Sacramento CA. ( are you ready to be liberated? )

(life is but a dream) SLOTHS!! [10 Jan 2004|11:00pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | SLOTHS!! ] SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!! SLOTHS!!

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